When we listen to TV or the radio and don't like what we are hearing or are not in agreement with what we are hearing…we change the channel. We can do the same with our mind…change the channel and change the thought. Thinking negatively? Change the channel to positive thoughts. Changing the channel of our mind is no easy task. What I have observed in my own life is this mind has been in control, loves being in control and doesn't relinquish control very easily. It takes work and more importantly Awareness.

I remember the moment when my Yoga teacher gave a lecture about the mind. It was a moment of reckoning for me…wow…I have the power to control my thoughts? Who knew? Then the fun began; the next level of training was to develop "the witness" to strengthen that something within me that can "watch the mind". I quickly realized the "witness" is my Soul, Spirit, the Light or Divinity within. The more I empower my Spirit the less power mind has over me and my life. The mind ruled my life and my world…an endless whirlwind of thought constantly getting stuck and playing over and over again, leaving me walking through life unconsciously because mind was anywhere but right here, right now.

This past weekend I was driving to an event where I was a guest speaker. It was the largest venue for me so far, over 200 people in attendance. I was about 2 miles from my destination when my car phone rang and the voice on the other end gave me some very shocking and devastating news. I pulled over for a few moments, grateful for the presence of my Cheryl (whom I affectionately call my 2nd daughter). Once the conversation ended I drove to the event. I sat through about 2 hours of wonderful entertainment and yet mind began to wander to this news which rocked my world. As I observed mind and what every thought was doing to me and my body…I took a breath and focused the whirling thoughts on every note, every tune, every movement on the stage. I totally focused on the present moment. When I was introduced I walked up on stage and gave the best inspirational talk I've ever given. Once the event was over and I was in my car I allowed the tears to fall, the trembling to return and went home to deal with this news.

Changing the channel of the mind does not mean repressing emotion. What I have learned to do is to compartmentalize the thoughts. I knew I would allow the emotions and thoughts to return once my responsibility and obligation was done…and that is what I did. The most empowering teachings I have learned through the tradition of Yoga I studied is Raja –mastery of mind and emotion as my teacher so simply put it. There is nothing in my life and my world more powerful than knowing mind and using it as the tool it is. The Master of this mind…is my Spirit…the Divine within me.

The mind can be our greatest friend…or our worst enemy. We have the power to make that choice.

May you know that you too have the power to change your thoughts, to be aware of your thoughts and to live a more peaceful and centered life…just change the channel.

With love & blessings,

Kathleen

In my prior blog I mention my granddaughter and the gift she is to us just by Being. In her infancy she is pure, innocent, a Divine Light encased within a beautiful infant body. She is an expression of a Soul just waking to new life and the world. Just by Being she has opened our hearts and brought so much more love into our lives. Through this observation I realize each of us is a Gift to the world…but we must choose what kind of gift we are. We always have the power to choose what kind of gift we will be. To do this we must be mindful of our thoughts, our words and our actions at all times.

As I enter the magic of the holidays I reflect on the question:  what kind of Gift will I be? What kind of Gift am I to the world? What kind of Gift am I as mother, partner, friend, daughter, neighbor, and fellow human being? How do I feel at the end of each day about the kind of Gift I am?

Fifty six years of life bring wisdom and experience beyond anything we can learn from books or others. I have learned the value of kindness and the sorrow of poor choices. I have learned that words spoken can bring great joy and deep wounds. I have learned that a smile can change everything. I have learned that gratitude is an ongoing blessing to my life. I have learned that any discord within is a result of distance or separation from the Divine within me. I have learned that I must nurture my relationship with the Divine within through my spiritual practices and meditation. I have learned that in order to be the Gift I am meant to be I must remain in alignment with the Divine within. I have learned that the greatest gift I can give to others…is the gift of myself.

The new year is a great time to set intention for the year to come and each year I spend time in meditation reflecting on the past year and projecting goals and positive energy to the new year. I surrender to the Divine Light within and ask how I can best serve myself and the world around me. I surrender to being a full expression of the very best of myself each day and ask that I continue to serve others by how I love and how I live. I surrender to being the Gift I am meant to be. May you recognize that you are the Gift, may you be a Divine expression of who you are and like my granddaughter…be the gift just by Being.

With love & blessings,

Kathleen

I acknowledge as I look deeply into her eyes…she is my new Teacher. I know I will learn so much from her innocence, her Beginners Mind, her ability to fully experience the moment where there is no tomorrow, no yesterday, only now.

Tears filled my eyes in that moment and I realize that Emma is a gift just by Being…and aren't we all? Isn't every human being meant to be a gift to the world just by Being? The same Divine Light is within us throughout time. When we acknowledge that we are Spirit, Soul and eternal we claim a responsibility to Be all that we are meant to be. God has lovingly placed within us all that we need to Be a full expression of who we are. Every Gift within is a blessing of God and meant to be shared and expressed. Can you believe you are a Gift?

Emma teaches me this Truth…each of us are a gift just by being. May you nurture your Spirit. May you remember who you are. May you be a full expression of who you are. May you live in alignment with the Divine Light within you…and may you always remember that YOU are the Gift. There is no one like you, you are unique and an essential part of the Whole…and may you remember that Just by Being…you make a difference in the world.

With love & blessings,

Kathleen

 And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!"

How often the words "To Thine own self be true" would cross my mind throughout these 35+ years of my Spiritual journey. How simple the words of Shakespeare and how profound. The path of Yoga, the path to enlightenment is the path of Knowing the Self and ultimately loving the Self.

For most of my life I searched for something outside of myself. Somewhere out there was the Glory, the Grace, the Wisdom and Perfection. I prayed and meditated, searched and searched, I read, I wrote, I cried, I ached for this Something. Through perseverance, discipline and a driving determination I finally found in these simple words the Truth.  I found myself.

I wonder if I could have found myself any other way because God knows I tried it all. But those years in the Adirondacks embraced me and filled me with the simple truth I found in the heart of Mother Nature…I Am enough simply because I Am. There is honesty and integrity in loving myself…in being True to myself. Knowing myself and being True to myself keeps me in alignment with the Divine within.

The journey to the Self  is the journey of self love and it is through loving myself that I now share the most beautiful, easy, comfortable and peaceful relationship of my life. He is my mirror, his goodness is my goodness, my goodness is his. We have so much in common–our differences are in our past–we share a very deep love for our children and understand the depth of that love. We move with ease together in learning how to be comfortable with something so wonderful. There is something very pure about this relationship…perhaps it is the purity of Divine Light, the purity of two Souls who have connected at midlife after doing lifetimes of work, moving through lifetimes of Karma, and being open to receive that we have both arrived at this time to simply Be together. I do not take a single moment of his presence in my life for granted. This is a treasure that brings to mind the word perfect. Websters New World dictionary defines perfect as "complete in all respects;without defect or omission."  That is my experience now within myself and our relationship…complete in all respects…perfect.

May you find the path to enlightenment, to self love and To Thine own self be true.

With love & blessings,

Kathleen

Thanksgiving reminds us to pause and be grateful for our shelter and food, the support of loved ones, our health, and the community that surrounds us. There is so much negativity in our world today especially in the media and yet there is so much to appreciate. As money and material pursuits fall away we are reminded, sometimes quite suddenly and harshly, that there is much more to life that matters beyond money and what we have. What matters is who we are. What matters is how we choose to live. What matters is how we love. What matters is our generosity and compassion. What matters is the welfare of all mankind, the earth and all creatures. What matters is we realize that we are part of the whole. What matters is that we are all One and that we remain focused on the positive in our self, in others, and our world. What we focus on gets stronger…may we seek the positive in all situations…as the positive energy grows our life and our world will be more balanced.

On this day of giving thanks may we all pause to remember that even in challenging times we have so much to be thankful for. As I teach my students…a life of Gratitude is a life of Joy. May every day be a day for Giving Thanks and may you remember to take a moment each day to be thankful for all the blessings, gifts and miracles that fill your life…even in the darkest times.

Giving thanks also reminds me to take time in preparing this meal, pouring my love into every measure, every stir, every cut, and pour. Food made with love is the highest form of nourishment for those who come to our table. The body will more easily digest food that is prepared with care and loving attention to detail.

As I prepare this sacred meal to share with my loved Ones tomorrow my heart fills with Gratitude for my wonderful life, this beautiful earth, this day in time and all the amazing beautiful people in my world…may it be so for you.

With love & blessings,
Kathleen

One of the most powerful questions he asked me still, to this day, stands out. It is a two part question.  What is your tolerance for discomfort? The result was at the time: I have a high tolerance for discomfort BECAUSE I was so used to it. There was comfort in discomfort because I seemed to experience it in some way shape or form throughout my life.

But then he asked this question:

What is your tolerance for feeling good?

To be completely honest…this is the question that stopped me in my tracks. Being treated like I was special? Being treated with kindness and love and respect? There were moments…but it was not the norm for me. I was in relationships where love hurt, there were lots of tears, disappointments, and getting down to the bottom of this question…I had very low tolerance for feeling good and for being treated well. Whenever a nice young man was attracted to me or asked me out I said no. A nice guy was so outside the box it was very uncomfortable for me.

This is the question that was the catalyst for some serious self inquiry. When I realized there was a cap on my tolerance for feeling wonderful and more importantly for being treated in relationship with all good qualities…I had to take a good long look at myself, the patterns of behavior, acquired beliefs, learned thoughts, and the "grooves in the record" of my mind that were so deeply imbedded in my psyche.  And look I did. I spent years exploring this question until I finally came to the conclusion that this is not what I want. This is not what I deserve. This is not who I am…but what I was taught in many ways throughout my childhood and life.

Through this journey to self love I have no cap on my tolerance for feeling wonderful, amazing and capable. There is no cap on my tolerance for happiness. Today I only have the very best relationships BECAUSE I love myself and respect myself and expect nothing but the very best that life and love have to offer me. Everyone in my life is an expression of the very best of humanity. They are expressions of love, respect, gratitude, joy, kindness, generosity, compassion, patience….all that is good, wonderful and amazing.

Every moment of every day I have a choice. I choose how to live, how to express, how to give, how to be, how to love and how to BE loved. It is through finding myself that I grew to love and accept myself and the best part of all…are all the wonderful, amazing, loving people I have attracted into my life and my world. Today I am in a relationship that is so easy, so comfortable, and wonderful that "it's almost scary"…but I watch my thoughts, recognize the old stuff, let it go and enjoy the moment. Do I have moments of fear? Yes I do. In order to experience and embrace the wonderful…I must expose myself to the unknown…but to do and be anything less is not living. I choose to Live and to Love….take the chance. May you remember that you are the creator of your life by what you think, what you say, what you do, the choices and decisions you make. You are the creator of your life by how  you love, choose to be loved and live. May you remember to think the very best thoughts of yourself, your life and the world around you. May you remember that you are valuable and worthy and that you deserve the very best in life and love.

With love & blessings,
Kathleen

I observe and witness how easily I love everyone I meet. Rarely have I ever met someone whose presence I would rather not be in. Over the course of my lifetime I have experienced so many different forms of love…but love is love. Some love I understand…some I do not. There is the love for my parents…my first loves. The love for my sisters and being the eldest child that love was formed from the beginning of each life. There is the love for my extended family, childhood friends, schoolmates, teachers, neighbors, coworkers, boss', everyone I encountered seemed to have something worthwhile, something to love and care about.  As I grew into adulthood I found romantic love and all the complexities of family life. Everything I did from volunteering, to teaching, to care giving, to forming new bonds and friendships…love is at the center of all I do and all I am.

As Yoga teacher and Reiki Master I love all my students and everyone who comes to my table. As caregiver I love the elders in my life. The great loves are my children, now my granddaughter. I wonder how this heart of mine can love like I do? How expansive is my love? Today there is another love…the love for a wonderful man. I am awed by the expansive love in my heart that is beyond this human form…that seems to merge with the Ocean and the Universe…this love that moves me, fills me, holds me, uplifts me, washes over me…there are no words to describe fully my human heart. The capacity to love is a mystery because there is no framework, there is no limit, there is no boundary.

My human heart Knows that the greatest of all gifts is Love. That is why we are here…to Love. To Love with abandon, to love fully and embrace all that love holds. To Know that our great purpose is to Love. To love what we do and to do what we love. To love and to be loved. The greatest of these is the journey to self love. I have found this to be true…it is easy to love others…the great challenge is to love myself. That was my purpose for retreating to the Adirondacks…to make the journey to self love. This is the profound difference in my life today…because I love myself I am better able to love others fully and freely. There is freedom in self love that we cannot find anywhere else. It brings a sense of gratitude and respect for this body temple and the compassion and kindness to myself for the past. I view my life and myself with a softer lens. Perhaps that is why my human heart is so expansive…because of the freedom I have found through self love. All I do know is this:  every step, every moment has led me to right here, right now…and there is no where else I'd rather be.

May you find yourself swimming in the love that surrounds you. Immerse yourself and meditate on the love in your life. The love you give and the love you receive…and may you feel your heart expand and let go. May you find the freedom that love brings to your life. And may you be blessed with the Knowledge that Love is the greatest gift of all.

"There are in the end three things that last: faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is Love." Corinthians 1:13

With love & blessings,

Kathleen

Watching my son so effortlessly step into the role of fatherhood is what most deeply touches my heart and brings tears to my eyes. Since a young teenager he would tell me, "you know Mom, I'm going to be a good father." As a young man he would affirm the same, "I'm going to be a great dad…I really want to be a great dad." He has been with Grace every step of the way throughout her pregnancy, every doctor visit, everything asked and required…he was there. He lights up whenever he looks at his little girl and to my amazement she opens her eyes and turns when she hears his voice. He is so very proud of Grace giving birth naturally and nursing…he's sure to tell everyone who visits. I see a strong man, strong partner, strong father…and yet I see and feel the softness his great love holds.

When my daughter Tracey held Emma for the first time…I watched her tears roll  down her cheeks…more love, more opening…the blessing of Emma.

A year ago life was full of challenge and as Mother to my children I helped them navigate the challenges they faced and affirmed every step of the way we are moving through it and there is no reason to ever visit these particular challenges again because now this Karma is released. I bless my children and at the same time understand they are making their own journey and traveling their own path to Self. And so begins this journey for our dear little Emma. We are born pure, innocent Souls and for some reason travel backward through this life. The influences of the  world around us begin to separate us from the pure Divine Light within. We struggle, we love, we hurt, we laugh, we cry, we make good choices and poor ones…but every moment serves a purpose in the evolution of our Soul and our Karma. If we are awake at all we hope to attain and seek something that is/was there all along…something we can never be separate from…our Soul, our Spirit, the God within. The ultimate treasure in our lifetime is Self Realization…to Know the God within, to be One with our Divine Nature.

I hold with tenderness our little Emma, awed by her beauty, her peacefulness, her deep blue eyes and rosy complexion, and how this tiny little Soul is performing miracles in  our hearts just by Being. Emma is my first grandchild and this is indeed a monumental moment in my life and the best part of all…is the wonderful man I have to share this with…I am truly blessed.

I've been alone and on my own for years now and have lived with peaceful acceptance of being alone. I was alone but not lonely.
I even came to terms with the possibility of being alone the rest of my life and found peace with that as well.

Then on a beautiful autumn night the stars aligned and there he was and in that moment I found the most comfortable wide open space to Be.

Since that evening I find myself singing for no reason. I feel lighter and more joyful. I think about him, how he looks, what he says, how he moves. I realize that when alone it's good to find peaceful acceptance because it is what it is.  Today life is full of possibilities and for the first time in many many years…I no longer see myself alone. I want to share everything with him…who I am, my life, my world.

When I wrote Adirondack Retreat My Midlife Journey to Wholeness…I thought I found wholeness and in many ways I did but today I know that wholeness is about sharing life with someone you love, being a part of another, sharing space, sharing time, growing and learning…being a family. I trust in this relationship because I found myself and because I know myself and through this attracted to me the best man in the world for me. We understand each other, "get" it and are enjoying every moment of this beautiful beginning.

If you are looking for love…become the person and experience you seek and then allow the Universe to make the connection. Universal Wisdom is far more accurate than we are. A few months ago I came across the worn out typed up sheet that describes the relationship I wanted, the experience I wanted to have that I wrote back in 2006. Every day for a few years I read that sheet, I read it to myself, envisioned it in my meditations, and sometimes would read it out loud always before or after daily meditation. Then one day I put it in my altar drawer and would read it now and then. I have become those affirmations. I have become and manifested everything on that sheet. Once again I put it away and on that autumn night I knew I met my mirror. He is everything I hoped for and more.

We have the power to manifest our hopes and dreams. The mind when in alignment with our highest good is a powerful tool. Patience is the path to allowing the Universe to do the work. Become what you seek and then wait for it to come to you.

I am so grateful for all these years of healing, for manifesting what I would hope to experience in a relationship and finding so much of that and more with this man.  The ways of the Universe…God's abundant gifts are so full of surprises and I am blessed by that moment in time when the stars aligned and Know this is a rare and precious gift…because the Universe declares it so.

When The Stars Align

How long it's been

alone on my own

Time passes years go by

I grow accustomed to this solitary life

Walls built up

I'm safe inside

For years now…I hide

Slowly I change

find my way

I ask to open

ask to receive

if there be One for me

On the beach I bare my heart and soul

spread open my arms before the mighty ocean

and declare I am ready

I am open to receive the love that awaits me

The stars align

on that autumn night

comfortable, sweet, open, peaceful

Knowing this the beginning of something wonderful
beautiful

meant to Be together

the Universe declares it so

Stars align

I slip my hand in his

So what or who do I see in the mirror today? I see a woman who fully embraces life and that means allowing everything to be as it is. To fully experience joy as well as sorrow. I've learned to allow the depths of sorrow and joy which have led to a sort of equanimity. A place where there are no more extreme highs and lows but a peaceful acceptance with what is.

The present times offer all kinds of solutions to fix the lines of my face…botox, creams and lotions, plastic surgery, you name it. As this body ages I feel the same youthful exuberance I always have but the body reveals the passage of time. Time is a gift and a great blessing. Aging is a gift and blessing. With age comes something we cannot attain in any other way…life wisdom.  For the wisdom I have gained, the patient, kind, generous and loving woman I have become I acknowledge with sweet surrender the map of my life in the mirror….the lines of my face.